A car buzzes down the Mass Pike. I’m asleep in the passenger seat. But it’s not a deep sleep. It’s that kind of wakeful nap that mixes half dreams and music playing on the stereo. My head nods to the side as the car changes lanes.
When I wake up I realize, even while unconscious, I’ve been thinking about IT again. For weeks IT has dominated my thoughts. It is the LEGO Ultimate Collector’s Edition Millennium Falcon. Sounds ridiculous right? But for almost any guy aged 25-40 Han Solo’s ship from Star Wars made of small plastic bricks might be the greatest toy ever created. It measures 33″ long, 22″ wide and 8″ tall. There are over 5,000 pieces, the largest LEGO set ever. I’m practically drooling just writing about it. Unfortunately, there’s a huge price tag to match its awesomeness. The more I try not to think about it the deeper it burrows into my psyche. “Don’t miss out, pre-order yours today!” Lego.com warns.
I’m obsessed. I’ve got to have it. There are plenty of other things I could spend that money on: student loans, a new computer, food. I’m afraid that I’m like most Americans this way. Whether it’s that pint of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer or a sports car, you’ve all been there, lusting after something you don’t need.
I try to remind myself that one of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism states, “suffering is caused by desire.” Too bad another says, “all life is suffering.”
LEGOS have always been one of my favorite toys. When my son was old enough I went out and got him a starter set. We play for hours, putting together skyscrapers, castles, cars, and whatever else we can think of. Of course he’s only 2 and Lego recommends this model for 16 and up. It would have made a great Christmas gift for me. I mean him.
Those tiny building blocks have begun to take over my life. Even now, I thinking of things to build. The LEGO Millennium Falcon pushed me over the edge. There’s a fine line between interest and obsession. For good or bad, when I’m “into” something it consumes me.
At the beginning of each spring, just as the snow melts, I start playing golf again. It occupies all my thoughts. I’ll read golf books, check out golf web sites, and hit balls at the driving range in 30 degree weather. I start convincing myself that I could use a new set of irons.
At other points it’s been hiking or the works of a particular author, video games, old cars,learning HTML, even the history of Texas. In the mid 80’s the Boston Celtics took up a lot of my time. In college I’d find a topic I was interested in and exhaust it, usually producing a decent research paper. I’ve studied the styles of journalists like Tom Wolf and Hunter Thompson, pouring over every word they’ve ever put down. My shelves are full of books to prove it. Forsaking all other pursuits I dive in and rarely come up for air. Overall this has probably made me a well rounded person but not an easy one to live with.
I try hard to avoid attachments to material things. The LEGO Ultimate Collector’s Edition Millennium Falcon is definitely a material object. In the end it’s nothing, unimportant in the grand scheme. I’ll just ride it out until my next obsession comes along or maybe I’ll go order it right now.
This column originally appeared in The Sun Chronicle